"When two people meet and begin a relationship, they now
have to work out the 'us' part. How do you and I become 'us'?"
- Virginia Satir
As well as working with individuals, I offer counselling therapy services to couples. Couples may want to develop their relationship with each other at a particular stage in their lives, for instance, at a time when their children have reached adulthood and are about to leave home.
Couples may also look for independent support at a time of perceived crisis in their lives - when there has been a breakdown in the relationship and they want to find a way forward - either together or separately. Couples with children may value support in seeking to minimise the emotional effects the ending of a relationship may have for their children.
Whatever the circumstances, there will be a shared recognition that change is needed. It is not unusual for one member of the relationship to see a possible way forward through counselling therapy while the other may be less certain. A couple seeking my service will bring to therapy the sum of their life experience as individuals, not only that part of their lives they have shared.
Working with a couple has led me to recognise that, while there may be things that need to be addressed as a couple - such as improving the capacity to listen to each other - there may also be issues that relate to events prior to the start of the relationship. Sometimes these can be worked through as a couple or, as may often happen, a couple may choose to meet with me individually.
Great care is taken to ensure that an individual's work with me is kept separate from matters that a couple may jointly address. A plan will be agreed with each couple.
Increasingly, I am asked to support couples whose relationship is ending and where they want to achieve an amicable separation. While this is most definitely not a substitute for professional legal guidance, my informal support can aid the separation process prior to matters being formalised - saving both time and expenditure.
If you would like to know more about my work with couples, please contact me.